This Post Is Dangerous

Warning: Reading this and then applying it to your life could radically transform your lifestyle and who you are as a person. By all means, keep going, but just be aware.

In my last post, I raised the importance of asking questions. But what if I told you there is an even more important question to ask than “how” or “why”? What if I told you that answering this question truthfully could completely transform your life?

Think you can handle it? Are you ready? Here we go:

“Will It Really Matter?”

Will it really matter? In the grand scheme of things, will x really make a difference?

Last week I shared that one of the devil’s greatest tricks isn’t to make us bad, but to keep up busy. When we focus on the good, we neglect the great. When we spend out time doing good things, we have little time for that which matters most.

It comes down to priorities. And priorities are tricky things. If we make something a higher priority in our life, are we saying other things are bad? Are we saying others aren’t important if we relegate them to a lower level of priority? For this and other reasons, most of us simply stink at having consistent and correct priorities.

Now, it’s not my purpose here to lecture you about what your priorities should be. Those can vary from person to person. Yes, I firmly believe that there are universal priorities, given to us by God. Those are to love Him and love others. And how those work out in your life may look a little different than how they work out in mine. But I digress.

Asking “will it matter” isn’t about getting you to adopt my list of priorities. It is about helping you discover yours. When you sit down with your spouse, parent, friend, or even by yourself and ask this question openly and honestly, you can begin to determine what is truly important in your life.

So how do we discover if it really matters? I’ve got some ideas, but I admit, it’s a working list:

1. Ask What Is Most Important to You.

Like really ask it. Think about it. What is it that matters most to you? Don’t think about things, think about attitudes or traits. Not “it’s important for me to have a house with the white picket fence and wrap-around porch.” No, think more in lines of where you hope to be someday.

For example, maybe you want that house with the fence and the porch. Is it really those features that you’re wanting, or the comfort and lifestyle, the down-home charm they convey? Think in broad terms. Is it more important for me to go a top-notch graduate school, or is it important to me to simply get the degree and experience under my belt?

By asking what’s most important, we can avoid the trap of disillusionment and discouragement when things don’t go the way we planned. If your goal is the fence, you’re going to be upset when the neighbor backs over it. But if your goal is simple living, you’re going to be okay no matter how many times the Donovan’s teenager runs into the fence when he parks.

2. Realize That Not Everyone Has The Same Goal.

When we get a goal in mind, something that we’re wanting to pursue, it can be simply infuriating when people we know and love don’t understand. Mom and Dad may not understand that its important for you to move away and become independent right after college or high school. That’s OK. They may not have the same goal as you.

So when people question your choices, firstly, realize they may not understand because they don’t have the same priority you do. That’s ok. Secondly, don’t allow the priorities of others dictate what yours should be.

Again, while I think that God gave all of us some common priorities, how we go about living out those priorities will differ from person to person.

3. Ask “How Is This Going to Help Me/ Hurt Me Accomplish the Goal?”

I can’t stress this enough: introspection takes brutal honesty. And perhaps it’s best to do this with a trusted friend who understands your priorities.

But many of the things that we get so hung up on, the things that keep us so busy as well as the things that easily wound us often simply do not matter in the long run.

The past several years I have been enrolled in an educational program that is an equivalent of a hybrid bachelors/masters program for local church ministry. At first I thought that it was silly for me to participate. “I know all this stuff. These classes are for amateurs, I’ve been doing some of this longer than some of my instructors.” I didn’t see how this was actually helping me to accomplish the goal of furthering my education. I thought I knew the material.

Turns out, I DID know a lot of the material. But an education is not simply knowing the formulas, it’s knowing how to integrate knowledge into your environment. Being a part of Pastoral Leadership Institute was a real blessing to me, not just providing educational credits and certificates, but in helping me learn as a leader and teacher.

Other times, the answer may be negative. Something may peak our interest, draw us in, but in reality, it’s not an effective use of our time. For most people, signing up for the summer league travel team isn’t going to make a major impact on your life. Sure, it will be fun. But it’s also going to cost lots of money and lots of time that you’ll never get back. Not saying it’s not worth it, but I am saying, ask the question “how is this going to help my accomplish my goal?”

Getting upset over petty stuff is another area that gets me tripped up sometimes. In the church world, people can get irked by little things that probably shouldn’t irk them but it does. Actually, this isn’t limited to the church world, but is prevalent everywhere people are.

It’s usually not worth getting upset over is something didn’t go your way. On the other side of that same coin, when someone is upset, don’t let that get you down.

Again, this is a working list, and I’ll probably come back at some point and revise it.

But for now, at least ask yourself: Will It Really Matter?

It just might change your life!