The Drama of Avoiding Drama

Have you ever noticed that the people who post memes or graphics or sayings declaring how much they loathe drama are usually the same people who five minutes before posted or participated in social media drama?

It’s a cry for attention by screaming, “I’m good, I don’t need attention… now please notice me.” It’s being dramatic about the dramatic.

It’s easy for us to pass judgement on people who always stir the pot. Or the people who have the felt need to constantly remind us of how much they have been hurt. Or the people who embrace the role of one who “tells it like it is.”

And if we allow from some introspection, we can all see traces of those behaviors in our own lives. No one here is without the sin of self-centeredness. But what can we do about it? Is it possible to disdain drama without having to yell from the rooftops how much we don’t engage in it?

I think there are 3 basics to help here:

1. Recognize that all us are broken and seeking a good feeling. For some of us, that feeling comes from the attention others lavish on us. Maybe we were an only child and became used to being the center of attention. Maybe we experienced some deep tragedy and felt comforted by the outpouring of sympathy and love. It’s addictive, isn’t it? After everyone else moves on, you’re still there, still longing to have that feeling of love and importance again.
   
   
   So you post the status about how broken you feel. You share the picture of happier times, not as a reminder of the good days, but as a reminder to others that you are not ok. Look, it’s a good thing to reach out to others when we’re feeling down. It’s important to have a support system we can rely on when we feel sad, depressed, or unimportant. But if we’re not careful, it can become a vicious cycle of needing the constant attention or approval of others. Not only is that being extremely manipulative, but it also leads only to more pain for us.
   
   
2. Just because something is true does not mean it needs to be said. Yes, Billy Bob has been married 7 times and it looks like the current fling isn’t working out… So Billy Bob posts on social media that women are jerks. It’s likely that after 7 times, the problem is Billy Bob. Billy Bob is probably in need of a reality check and some counseling. We all need counseling, but I digress. Here’s the bottom line: unless you have a certain relationship with Billy Bob (pastor, coach, teacher, parent, sibling, best friend) it’s probably not your place to get on the soap box. Even if it is your place and you fall into one of those relational categories, it’s best done alone, in private, on the phone or in person.  Just because FB and Twitter are quicker doesn’t make it better. 
   
   Side Note: Has anyone ever witnessed LinkedIn drama? Just curious...
   
   You and I are not the appointed sole defenders of truth. And just because it’s true doesn’t mean it needs to be said. Bertha may be a big mouth, but you don’t need to tell her that. Everyone knows Bertha runs her jowls. You pointing that out just makes you complicit.
   
   I get it. I really do. Sometimes on social media or even in person, I really, really, REALLY, [read: intense desire] to correct someone or shed some truth on a certain scenario. But it’s not always helpful. If people keep stirring the pot, eventually its going to slop onto someone and I don’t want that person to be me.
   
   
3. The best way to avoid drama is to simply avoid it. Just don’t participate. Don’t highlight it, don’t screenshot it, don’t passive-aggressively “like” comments from what you view as the winning or correct side. Just avoid it.
   You say, “But Adam, someone is shaming my friend!” Ok, well, don’t sink down to their level. Highlight a positive attribute of your friend. Better yet, call them or text them (who calls anyone these days?) and remind them that you love them and have their back. That means so much more than any pithy reply on Facebook.
   
   The moment you share the post about how you don’t need drama, you’re creating drama, albeit minute drama. Just be an adult and scroll past.

Disclaimers: I know that by writing a post critical of people who write posts about drama, I am in some small way contributing to the problem. For that I apologize. It’s my hope that this post will encourage critical thinking and just might help you better understand those whom we love but tend to stir the proverbial pot. Also, maybe this will help you avoid being one of those stirrers.

Additionally, I recognize I am guilty of posting on social media that which is not always helpful and uplifting. I really am trying to not correct error or lies as I see them spread through the social media sphere. It’s hard to keep your thumbs quiet. As a leader, sometimes I feel a duty to correct a falsehood that can impact people I lead, especially when it comes to matters of faith. And so I will from time to time engage on social media in a dispute. But I recognize Twitter wars and FB fights are never won, so I simply try to offer those whom I can influence an alternative view. All that said, what I teach people each day and every Sunday when I preach is more effective than the occasional Social Media Sermon

Hey, I hope this post has helped you. If it has, please leave feedback, comment, or reach out to me directly as pastor.adamwill@gmail.com

The Truth

Abraham Lincoln once famously said, “Don’t believe everything you read on the internet.” Ol’ Abe was right. Sometimes we will believe almost anything except the truth.

“What is truth?” A guy named Pilate once asked this of Jesus (John 18:38) who was the greatest teacher ever.

It seems like today we are asking the same question, right? What is truth? Is there only one side to truth? Is truth absolute? These used to be questions that were left to theologians and philosophers, but now, in 2018 these questions are being brought to the forefront of culture.

I mean, if we don’t like something, we simply label it as fake news. Or we use the term “alternative facts” … What is an alternative fact? Hmm… Where was that when I was taking geometry?

Now to be clear, people have always disagreed. We have disagreed on politics, religion, parenting styles, diets, vehicle choices, and sports.

But those disagreements have largely been over either opinions or our interpretations of facts. Sometimes we have even conflicting scientific studies, largely because of differing data points. But except for our opinions, most discussions are founded upon a certain understanding of facts.

When I was working for a law firm, I saw how people can radically interpret thoughts based on facts. Two differing legal opinions will be based off the same facts. And I think that’s ok. It’s like the classic example of the glass being either half full or half empty. While individual perception will vary, all agree that the glass both contains liquid and yet has space for more.

But it seems we are now in an era where we all chose our own “truth”. And we have gotten to a point that the validity of said truth doesn’t matter as much as our dedication to wanting it to be true.

Just because we want something to true does not make it so. Just because the team we root for loses does not make the result illegitimate. Just because you didn’t vote for a candidate doesn’t mean they aren’t your official when the count is over.

I want to see the Reds with the World Series this year. But that’s not going to happen because I say it’s an alternative fact that they won all their games this year. I wish I made two hundred dollars an hour, but that does not mean that I can claim on my resume that my last job paid that much.

It bothers me to see so many kind and otherwise intelligent people who buy into lies… Who share debunked conspiracy theories on Facebook...

I can proclaim loudly that traffic does not exist. I can believe it all I want to. I can post it on social media, tweet about it, and take a selfie standing in the street. But stand in the intersection of a busy road and I may well find out differently… and painfully.

When we reject truth in favor of our “alternative facts” we end up only lying to ourselves. Not only does this cause division among neighbors and hurt among families, it causes us to build our lives on foundations of falsehood.

Jesus tells his followers the benefit of truth. John, a follower of Jesus records it this way in John 8:33, “So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, 32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

5 Ways to Stay Connected to Jesus During a Crazy Week

It’s Thursday, and the weekend is in sight. Woohoo! Sunday’s coming and for me and other people of the Christian faith, that means attending some sort of Church service. If you’re like me, however, sometimes you feel kind of spiritually dry between those Sundays.

And, well, that just makes sense. If you only ate once a week, you’d feel gorged after meal time, but then your body would ache and hunger during the rest of the week. It’s not healthy physically, and it’s not healthy spiritually. We’ll never be consistent in our faith until we consistently draw close to Jesus throughout the week.

“Yeah, Adam, I know that… I hear you… But how?” I’m so glad you asked. But before I share some answers that have worked for me, let me just say, I get it. Most people who follow Jesus recognize on some level the need to connect to Jesus more frequently or for those connections to increase in quality. The problem is twofold: 1, We sometimes genuinely don’t know how. 2, We lack the willpower to follow through.

Some other time, we’ll talk about building disciplines, but for now, let me share with you 5 Ways You Can Stay Connected to Jesus During a Crazy Week:

1. Read Your Bible & Pray Daily.

Ok, you surely knew this would make the list, right? If I didn’t include it, I’m sure the emails and messages would fill up my inbox: “Adam, what about reading the Bible? What about praying?”. Yes, I agree it’s a basic component of faithfully following Jesus. But sometimes we forget the basics. Nothing has helped me draw closer to Jesus than at least somewhat consistently reading the Bible and praying to God about what I have read.

And really, there isn’t an excuse anymore to not get into the Word daily. I’m a huge fan of the YOUVERSION APP. With it’s Bible plans, social networking features, media, and audio Bible features, there is so much to make reading the Bible a rich, soul-nourishing experience.

There are a lot more ways out there to engage with the text and the Author of the Bible. Amazon’s Alexa will read the Bible to you, there are apps that will remind you. This is an area where you just need to start. Pick up the book of 1 John and read a chapter a day for 5 days. Pray about what you’ve read. You’ll begin to connect with the Lord in a fresh, new way.

2. Listen to “Christian” Music

I have mixed feelings about this. I think we have to be careful about labeling music “Christian” versus “secular”. Music doesn’t experience salvation. But in the “Christian” music field, I draw two distinctions: 1, Worship music. 2, Songs about the Christian life.

Let me explain what I mean. I would include as Worship Music songs that I would use or expect to see in a worship service. Songs like “10,000 Reasons”, “In Christ Alone”, etc. These songs can help you have a private worship service that can draw you closer to Jesus

.

Songs about the Christian life to me would include lots of songs I hear on Christian radio, like “Chain Breaker” by Zach Williams, music by Need to Breathe. While I wouldn’t use these songs in a worship service, because they’re not songs directed to God, they do have an encouraging faith-based message. Listening to that, either in the background as I work, or jamming out in the car, I notice a difference in my outlook and attitude.

3. Connect to a Small Group or Bible Study

When my mom was growing up, she went to a Holiness church and had something like 7 services a week. That’s right, SEVEN! You were expected to go to the church every time the doors were open. When I was growing up in the late 80’s and early 90’s, the expectation was that you went to Sunday School, Sunday morning worship, Sunday evening worship, and Midweek service.

Today, instead of attending 2-3 hours of services a week at a local church, it’s considered a win if people attend 2-3 hours PER MONTH. This is a huge culture shift in the American Church. And while we can bemoan this or say it’s causing people to be stagnant in their faith (which I disagree with, at least partially), it’s not something we’re probably going to see change.

And while I don’t think the answer is for you to go to a building more hours a week, I do strongly believe in the importance of Christ followers gathering in small groups for encouragement, accountability, and to work together.

Some churches do Sunday School. Some churches do life groups, home groups, cell groups, small groups, missional communities, etc. The main difference in all of these? Marketing/branding. It’s not nearly as important what you call these as long as you participate.

We were not created to do life alone. The Christian journey is not a solo adventure. Get connected with other Christians and you’ll get closer to Jesus.

4. Say No

Say no to something so you can say yes to Jesus. 90% of your schedule is ultimately determined by you. If your life is too busy to connect with Christ, frankly, it ultimately comes down to the fact that you have said yes to way too many things. Saying no isn’t easy. It’s not fun. But it’s important.

You don’t need to watch that show on Netflix nearly as much as you need to spend 5 minutes with the One who refreshes your soul. Do you really need to watch the news more than you need to connect with Jesus?

Say no to the good so you can say yes to the great. And the greatest thing in our lives in our relationship with Jesus Christ.

5. Seek to Integrate Your Faith into Your Tasks

Colossians 3:17 says, “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

Everything we do, huh? Yep. Now, I’ll be the first to admit this can be tricky. It definitely takes some creativity. But when we have the mindset that there are “Christian” tasks and then there is the stuff that I simply have to do, we misunderstand God’s purpose behind our work. The Lord of the Church is still Lord of the marketplace.

Offer to pray for people you meet. Or pray for them privately. When you go to the grocery store, buy some extra food for a family in need. Ask the Lord how you can be more generous at the workplace. Sing to Jesus when you’re on the lawnmower.

I’m sure that there are many other ways you can connect with Jesus during a crazy week or season of life. But these are the 5 that most quickly come to mind. What helps you connect with Christ?

This Post Is Dangerous

Warning: Reading this and then applying it to your life could radically transform your lifestyle and who you are as a person. By all means, keep going, but just be aware.

In my last post, I raised the importance of asking questions. But what if I told you there is an even more important question to ask than “how” or “why”? What if I told you that answering this question truthfully could completely transform your life?

Think you can handle it? Are you ready? Here we go:

“Will It Really Matter?”

Will it really matter? In the grand scheme of things, will x really make a difference?

Last week I shared that one of the devil’s greatest tricks isn’t to make us bad, but to keep up busy. When we focus on the good, we neglect the great. When we spend out time doing good things, we have little time for that which matters most.

It comes down to priorities. And priorities are tricky things. If we make something a higher priority in our life, are we saying other things are bad? Are we saying others aren’t important if we relegate them to a lower level of priority? For this and other reasons, most of us simply stink at having consistent and correct priorities.

Now, it’s not my purpose here to lecture you about what your priorities should be. Those can vary from person to person. Yes, I firmly believe that there are universal priorities, given to us by God. Those are to love Him and love others. And how those work out in your life may look a little different than how they work out in mine. But I digress.

Asking “will it matter” isn’t about getting you to adopt my list of priorities. It is about helping you discover yours. When you sit down with your spouse, parent, friend, or even by yourself and ask this question openly and honestly, you can begin to determine what is truly important in your life.

So how do we discover if it really matters? I’ve got some ideas, but I admit, it’s a working list:

1. Ask What Is Most Important to You.

Like really ask it. Think about it. What is it that matters most to you? Don’t think about things, think about attitudes or traits. Not “it’s important for me to have a house with the white picket fence and wrap-around porch.” No, think more in lines of where you hope to be someday.

For example, maybe you want that house with the fence and the porch. Is it really those features that you’re wanting, or the comfort and lifestyle, the down-home charm they convey? Think in broad terms. Is it more important for me to go a top-notch graduate school, or is it important to me to simply get the degree and experience under my belt?

By asking what’s most important, we can avoid the trap of disillusionment and discouragement when things don’t go the way we planned. If your goal is the fence, you’re going to be upset when the neighbor backs over it. But if your goal is simple living, you’re going to be okay no matter how many times the Donovan’s teenager runs into the fence when he parks.

2. Realize That Not Everyone Has The Same Goal.

When we get a goal in mind, something that we’re wanting to pursue, it can be simply infuriating when people we know and love don’t understand. Mom and Dad may not understand that its important for you to move away and become independent right after college or high school. That’s OK. They may not have the same goal as you.

So when people question your choices, firstly, realize they may not understand because they don’t have the same priority you do. That’s ok. Secondly, don’t allow the priorities of others dictate what yours should be.

Again, while I think that God gave all of us some common priorities, how we go about living out those priorities will differ from person to person.

3. Ask “How Is This Going to Help Me/ Hurt Me Accomplish the Goal?”

I can’t stress this enough: introspection takes brutal honesty. And perhaps it’s best to do this with a trusted friend who understands your priorities.

But many of the things that we get so hung up on, the things that keep us so busy as well as the things that easily wound us often simply do not matter in the long run.

The past several years I have been enrolled in an educational program that is an equivalent of a hybrid bachelors/masters program for local church ministry. At first I thought that it was silly for me to participate. “I know all this stuff. These classes are for amateurs, I’ve been doing some of this longer than some of my instructors.” I didn’t see how this was actually helping me to accomplish the goal of furthering my education. I thought I knew the material.

Turns out, I DID know a lot of the material. But an education is not simply knowing the formulas, it’s knowing how to integrate knowledge into your environment. Being a part of Pastoral Leadership Institute was a real blessing to me, not just providing educational credits and certificates, but in helping me learn as a leader and teacher.

Other times, the answer may be negative. Something may peak our interest, draw us in, but in reality, it’s not an effective use of our time. For most people, signing up for the summer league travel team isn’t going to make a major impact on your life. Sure, it will be fun. But it’s also going to cost lots of money and lots of time that you’ll never get back. Not saying it’s not worth it, but I am saying, ask the question “how is this going to help my accomplish my goal?”

Getting upset over petty stuff is another area that gets me tripped up sometimes. In the church world, people can get irked by little things that probably shouldn’t irk them but it does. Actually, this isn’t limited to the church world, but is prevalent everywhere people are.

It’s usually not worth getting upset over is something didn’t go your way. On the other side of that same coin, when someone is upset, don’t let that get you down.

Again, this is a working list, and I’ll probably come back at some point and revise it.

But for now, at least ask yourself: Will It Really Matter?

It just might change your life!

Start Asking

Kids ask millions of questions, don’t they? Especially at what seems inopportune times like bedtime, when you’re trying to navigate traffic, or when you’re in the middle of trying to meet a deadline. What can seem annoying just actually may be what we need to think about.

No, I try not to think too much about why the sky is blue or why cats can’t fly. I mean the more fundamental type of questions. Such as “how”, and that perpetually perplexing question: “Why?”

As kids we ask why. And then as we got older, we stopped asking why. Perhaps our parents discouraged it.

“Dad, why do I have to go to school?”

“Because I said so, that’s why!”

Yeah, guilty here. I swore I would never give that answer to my kids, but the truth is that sometimes I have just been tired or mentally drained and that’s the best I could come up with.

God gave us an inquisitive mind. Here’s why: God made this amazing world to display His handy work, to show off, if you will. And when we investigate why, it causes us to recognize His greatness. He made us to ask questions.

But somewhere along the lines, many of us stopped. Maybe we felt jaded by the answers we got. Perhaps we just accepted the status quo. Is it possible we got so busy with life we forgot that we were created to ask questions?

Here is where I am going with this: We need to start asking questions again. I’m not suggesting questioning authority. I am suggesting questioning the status quo. Questions if asked with the right heart behind them aren’t threatening. Questioning something doesn’t mean rebelling, it means learning and understanding.

Now, I’m not talking about being a gossiping busy-body. Sadly, we ask those types of questions way too often. Stop it.

But what would happen if you and I would start asking “how” and “why” more frequently?

A few thoughts:

1. Asking Questions Makes Us Better Parents

Ok, maybe you don’t have kids, but hear me out. As a parent in my early 30’s with 3 kids, I DEFINITELY don’t have it figured out. So, I could try to figure this whole “being a dad” thing out on my own, or I can learn from the successes and mistakes of MILLIONS of moms and dads who have been down this road before.

When our middle child, Sophia, was diagnosed with epilepsy I had a gazillion questions. And I don’t know about you, but I can’t afford to keep a qualified doctor on 24-hr standby. But I have several friends and connections who have been through this. I know that I can ask them questions. I’m part of a support network for parents working through this.

But it doesn’t have to be a major illness the prompts inquiries. Asking questions of other parents such as, “How did you get Johnny to improve his reading comprehension?” “Any tips to help Ella learn to share with the other kids at the babysitter’s?”

Being a better parent begins with asking how and why. In my experience as a Pastor and a School Board member, I can tell you anecdotally that not nearly enough parents are asking questions.

2. Asking Questions Makes Us Better Community Members

We live in an age of fake news, agenda driven media, and blatant lies shared on social media. Liberal, Conservative, unaffiliated, we’ve let others do the thinking for us. We are too busy to do the research into what is affecting our lives, our communities, our world. So, because we’re too busy, we let others look into it for us, let them do the thinking and asking.

And in settling for another’s manipulative answer, we’ve become sheep of uncaring and dishonest shepherds. I have a cousin who lives on the other side of the country with VASTLY different political views than I. He taught me a valuable lesson of asking questions. Each day, he spends a few hours reading half a dozen or so newspapers. (Newspapers are these archaic devices of media where words are printed on a piece of paper, which is then sold or delivered to your home.) His reason? You need to be informed before you pontificate.

Imagine how much better our communities could be if we started asking why or how? Why is this person protesting? How is this person really different from me? Why do some people think gender or race automatically creates privilege? Does it? Instead of beating down people who disagree with us, what if we sought to understand them? We don’t have to agree with them, but could you maybe just ask and then quiet long enough to hear them out?

3. Asking Questions Makes Us Better

Most of us are part of some sort of organization or institution. Maybe it’s a local church or little league or PTO or the local historical society. Maybe you’re in the Lion’s club or some other fraternity. That institution was created or exists for a purpose. Do you know what that purpose is? Can you articulate it in a sentence? Why are you doing what you are doing?

Every group has a life cycle. And when we stop asking why or how, that group begins to die. “Why do we do this? How can we do it better? How does doing this accomplish our why?” Every group needs to ask and answer these questions regularly. The mission of the group is at stake.

Where I serve, in the local church world, we are often scared to ask why. We’re afraid we will upset someone. My position is that the mission of the local church, to love God and love others, making disciples, is FAR more important than someone getting upset over questions being asked. Far to often the answers to “why” and “how” in our local churches comes down to “I don’t know” or “we’ve always done it that way.” Both of those are bad answers to such important questions.

4. Asking Questions Makes Us Better Christ-Followers

Some pastors get nervous when people begin asking questions about God. We like our cookie cutter answers we memorized in Sunday School. When I was 9 years old, in one Sunday School class we played a trivia game, where the teacher would give us hints and we had to guess the Bible character. I always guess Jesus or Barnabas. I figured eventually I’d get it right.

But when it comes to questions of faith, I’m not threatened. I don’t have all the answers, that’s for sure! But, God does. And look, I know that sounds trite, but it’s accurate. Jesus stands up to scrutiny. The Bible stands up to critical scholarship. As an Evangelical, the doctrines that I follow aren’t contrived or invented on a whimsy.

Asking God why and how don’t threaten him. He actually invites our questions. He invites us to search and seek Him. He tells us in 4:29 “But from there you will seek the LORD you God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul.”

When we wrestle with worry or doubt or simple don’t understand something about our walk with Christ, He invites us to reason together with Him.

There are so many ways in which asking questions will make us better. I could go on ad infinitum. But the best way is for you to start asking questions today. Reclaim the inquisitive nature you once had. You heavenly Father created you to ask.

25 Ways to Save Your Schedule and Your Mind

25 Ways to Save Your Schedule and Save Your Mind

In my last post, I shared how if the devil can't make you bad, he'll make you busy. The truth of it is, it's not usually the fault of evil forces lurking in the shadows that cause us problems. It's often our lack of prioritizing what's great over what's good.

Here are 25 (ok, technically 26) ways to save your schedule and your mind:

1. Say No Nicely—This is #1 in order of importance. It’s also #1 in degree of difficulty for most people. We say no all the time, just in a different way. When we say yes to something, we say no to a hundred other possibilities. Instead of passively saying no to opportunities we should take, learn to politely decline invitations or offers. Will people be offended? Sure. But if they’re as well meaning as they seem, they will either get over it, or eventually understand.

Say no to the good so you can say yes to the great.

2. Delegate—Unless you are on a deserted island, you can probably find someone else to help or do it entirely. Sure, somethings can’t be delegated. Likely, those are the essential things for you. But many things can be delegated. Enlist your co-workers, family members, or small group members. And if you can’t find someone to delegate to, don’t be afraid to drop it.

Delegate the good so you can focus on the great.

3. Clicklist Shopping—I admittedly haven’t tried this out. But Kroger’s has this new feature where you can shop on the app, pay for it, and have the grocery order delivered to your car, saving you hours each month in the store. Now, I’m sure Kroger’s isn’t the only store to do this, just the only major chain of supermarkets that I’m aware of. I’ll gladly pay a small fee to save this amount of time.

P.S. I personally enjoy grocery shopping. I usually do it alone. But if you have kids with you, why not try it out?

4. Family Sports—I know that this isn’t popular with a lot of people. But if you have three kids who are into sports, it’s likely that you have practice nearly every night of the week not to mention have to be in several places at once. Besides straining the laws of physics, it can strain your brain. Try to find some activities that can involve the whole family, or at least a big chunk of them.

Downside: No playoffs, no titles, not a lot of prestige. But your kids can still learn the fundamentals and develop leadership and sportsmanship qualities.

Also, these may be sparse in your area. But it may be worth a shot. The other alternative would be telling your kids “no.” Heaven forbid. See # 26.

5. Family Small Groups—Our church is in the launching phase of small group ministry. A small group is a Bible Study type of program you get into. Usually they involve lots of discussion, snacks, and meeting at someone’s home. Every church does groups a little different. But one option for you is to participate in a group where the whole family can be present. Or if that’s not your fancy, attend a group that meets the same time as your kid’s student or children’s ministry.

It saves time and may save you a couple of hours each week.

6.  Limit Meetings—I’m weird, I like meetings. Wait, let me rephrase that… I like meetings with a purpose. I detest sitting around talking about things only to meet again in a few months and be talking about them again with no progress made. Life is busy and I simply don’t have time to meet with everyone who wants to. So I need to prioritize meetings. If it can be done over text or email, great.

Honestly, this area is hard for me, because as a Pastor and small business owner, meetings with congregants and clients are very important. But many things can be dealt with completely in a timely manner.

Especially if you have a family, you need to limit your meetings. Better yet, have meetings at breakfast or lunch with someone, and don’t let it linger much longer than the meal.

7. Get Important Stuff Done First—2 benefits: 1, the task is done, so if you fall behind, its less pressure on you;  2, it will give you a sense of accomplishment, helping you dive into the rest of your day/list of things to do.

8. Limit Meetings—Lots of meetings are redundant, just like this line.

9. Ask Why—This question will likely get you in trouble, whether you’re asking yourself of someone else. It can cause you re-evaluate conventional wisdom, which is usually a good thing. But to some people, it’s threatening. Again, focus on the great thing, not just the good thing. It something is pointless, why are you doing it?

10. Cook Multiple Meals at Once—Ah, food. I like to cook. It relaxes me. There is something satisfying about taking a set of ingredients and transforming them into an edible creation. We don’t cook enough. Largely because we lack time. So tonight, while you’re making hamburgers, go ahead and prepare some ground beef for tacos later in the week. Or if you’re making soup, make some extra and put it in the freezer. This way you can still have a home cooked meal that tastes good and allows you to put your feet up.

11. Work Ahead—"But Adam, I can’t do what I have to do as it is!” I know. Same situation here. But most of us can find a little margin here and there. If you’re not totally exhausted, work a little ahead. You never know when you’ll need that time invested when a crisis comes up. Life is unpredictable so being a little ahead can be a real lifesaver.

12. Give Kids Chores—For any kids reading this, I apologize in advance. Now most kids have age-appropriate chores. But it is surprising to me the number of kids I know who have very little household responsibilities besides cleaning their room. Hey, some kids don’t even have to do that. I hated chores as a kid. But as a parent, I now realize those little household jobs can really add up. If you have kids, give them responsibility. That’s the only way they learn it. And yes, that means you’ll have to check to make sure it got done, but over time it can develop your child’s work ethic. And it can save you some time.

13. Keep A Notebook—I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid, before it seemed like everyone had it. On top of that I struggle to remember things anyway. If you add those two together you get the perfect storm of poor follow-through. Many times I simply forget. I’m learning the importance of keeping a notepad with me at all times. Yeah, I don’t look so cool. But I’m becoming more productive and less busy at the same time. Working from a list keeps you engaged, speeds up your day, and you’ll have more time and maybe even more energy at the end of the day.

14. Get Some Sleep—This seems obvious, but you can’t function well if your body isn’t well rested. I love the new Bedtime feature on my iPhone. It’s a conscious reminder that I need to wind down my evening, go to bed, and get some rest. And I’m waking up earlier and more refreshed because I am getting a good night’s sleep. Why is it we work hard to get our kids on a good bedtime schedule and then neglect doing that in our own lives? I like the occasional late-movie date-night, but I can’t function well on less than 9 hours of sleep.

Rest well so you can tackle the great thing God has for you.

15. Get Up Early—Yikes! I was never a morning person until the last year or so. We have three kids, and I largely work from home, so quiet time is at a premium around here. If I get up at 5 AM, I have between 2-3 hours of uninterrupted time to study, write, read, pray, you get the picture. Yes, it takes time to cultivate the habit, but my morning coffee and Bible reading are becoming precious to me. It’s also my most productive hours of the day.

I’m not advocating everyone get at 5 AM. If they did, it wouldn’t be quiet time for me. But I am advocating getting a head start on the day. There is a positive psychological effect to having accomplished more than half of a work day before noon.

16. Do Small Tasks in a Rush—My wife is the queen of this. When it comes to cleaning up after the kids and just the craziness of the day, my wife can clean more in 15 minutes uninterrupted than I can in 2 hours. This could be anything from sorting laundry while starting a load, combining errands into a single trip, or handling all your email quickly at one time.

I read somewhere that the constant checking and replying to emails is a huge time waster. Doing it all at once maybe twice a day can really save your schedule. Get the good things done and out of the way so you can focus on the great thing God has for you (notice how I keep saying something like that? Hmmm… It’s like I have a theme or something).

17. Listen to Some Good Music—I get distracted easily, which makes some tasks take longer than they should. If you see me with my headphones or earbuds in and I seem to be non-responsive to you, I’m not being rude. I am doing what I need to do to be productive. Pick your favorite music and get to it. Personally, I find soft piano or classic rock works best. I love praise and worship music, but sometimes I get caught up in it and forget what I was doing.

It’s about what helps you to focus on the great things.

18. Hire Out What You Can—I realize not everyone has lots of money. Truth is, I’m not what you would call wealthy by American standards. But there are some things that aren’t worth the hassle or time commitment of me doing myself. If that means paying the neighbor kid to mow the lawn (mowing is sacred to me so that’s not something I would do) or paying someone to do your taxes, or paying for a part-time assistant, do it.

You may think it’s cheaper to do it yourself, but I think you’d be surprised. If you did a cost-benefit analysis of some of the tasks you do, what it costs you in lost productivity or peace of mind, it may be worth hiring it out.

19. Consider a Digital Assistant—This is something I have considered but have not done yet. Our church employs a great administrative assistant who saves my bacon weekly. But she’s only 6 hours a week. I need someone constantly, for my church work and for my side business. I don’t have the luxury of being able to afford one right now, but there are some great options out there.

Belay is one company that is making a huge impact by offering numerous services, including personal assistants who work remotely from their home or office space. For a reasonable rate, they can help with all sorts of tasks. If you work in the business or non-profit world, they could be a real time saver and problem solver for you.

20. Pray—Pray. “Adam, you’re a pastor. Of course you’re going to berate me about spending too little time in prayer.” Ok, easy, calm down. Maybe you feel convicted because you do need to pray more. But that’s not what I’m really getting at.

Yes, pray and ask God to help you make better use of your time, to focus on the great things instead of the good. But you should already be doing that.

No, I’m talking about the purely selfish reasons to pray. Study after study by secular researchers show that praying, meditation, or a similar discipline not only increases productivity, it also reduces stress. Reduced stress will save you time as you feel less worn down.

21. Move Up Deadlines—Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? Bad idea! Why not do today what isn’t due until next week? Again, you’re making extra time in your calendar and you’ll have a head start on everyone else. So if the paper isn’t due until next Friday, start working on it like it’s due this Friday. You’re not preaching until Sunday? Get that message ready by Friday night.

You’ll build discipline, earn the respect of your colleagues, and hey, maybe even get a raise.

22. Schedule Social Media Usage—If you’re a business owner like me, you know important social media can be to your business. It builds your client base and keeps you in contact your customers. Just like idea #16, you can schedule several posts at once using a social media managing app like Buffer or Hootsuite.

Also, resist the urge to check your phone every 5 minutes. Schedule time. Like for our church, we use several social media accounts and platforms to communicate 

announcements, prayer requests, and for me to keep in touch with the congregation. It’s a great tool. But it can be overwhelming if I’m checking it constantly. It could be all I get done in a given day. As part of my morning routine, I will take about 20 minutes to scan my newsfeed, see what I need to respond to, and do it. Then I can go about my other tasks.

Again, focus on the great things not just the good things.

23. Calendar Everything—I am by nature perhaps the most disorganized person on the planet. Calendars and me don’t have a great track record. Day planners have been purchased only to be used for like a week, and then discarded.

But with each new update for iOS for Apple, they’re improving calendar features and making it easier for my wife and I to sync our appointments. It’s not just Apple Calendars. Google has some great resources.

Have trouble with keeping a priority a priority? Schedule it. Put Tuesday evenings down as family time and make it repeat forever. Scheduling your priorities makes it easier to tell people no. When someone asks you for a meeting Tuesday evening, you can honestly say, “I’m sorry, I’ve got a commitment that evening.”

As a pastor, it’s rare I have a slow or peaceful weekend. It’s my busiest time. So I try to take Mondays as a day off. But I find that if I don’t schedule it on my calendar, tasks and people tend to creep in on the time I should be holding as sacred.

24. Clean Your Desk, Dresser, or Work-space Each Day—A cluttered desk is a cluttered mind. When I sit down at my desk, the last thing I need to do is try to remember what I was thinking yesterday with stacks of papers.

I truly stink at this. But hey, I at least keep the spot in front of my keyboard clean.

Even if you stuff it into a file marked “to do”, you’ll find yourself less stressed and feeling ready to tackle the day.

25.  There’s An App for That—No, seriously, there probably is. Whether it’s mobile banking, a calendar app, an app that allows for collaboration between team mates, use it. By the time you read this post, the Apple App Store will have more than 3 million apps. 3 Million! And sure, lots of them are glorified time wasters, but there will be some that help productivity or with scheduling. My favorite time saving apps are Facebook Messenger, Hootsuite, and Dropbox.

26. Tell Your Kids “No”—See #1. Look, I get it. It’s hard to tell anyone no, especially your kids. You brought them into this world and you would give them anything. But just as we need to learn the discipline of saying no and choosing the great over the good, we need to instill this in our offspring.

Unless you have a rough home life and a negative family situation, your kid does not need to be in every sport, event, class, group, club, or organization. I know, Scouts, 4-H, Lacrosse, and Little League are good. They teach life lessons, provide amazing opportunities, and instill important values. Not denying that. But what I do deny is that every child needs all of them to have a worthwhile existence.

In our culture today, many of us engage in what I would call child idolization. We put our kids first, on a pedestal that belongs only to God. Or we’re trying to make our kids have the childhood we never had. If we could read most of our kids minds, what they need is what we do, love, respect, and self-worth. They don’t get that because you give them everything. Learn to balance. Tell your kids no. Teach them to focus on the great instead of lots of good.

I realize not all these tips may help you. There is no magic pill or silver bullet to make your schedule less hectic or reduce the stress you face. But if you will pick a couple of these, consistently apply them, and focus on the great, not the good, I believe you’ll start to see significant improvements in just a few weeks. Dialogue with me: What tips would you add? Which one has worked for you?

Is The Devil Making You Too Busy?

“If the devil can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.”

Ever heard that before? I have, and boy if it isn’t true…

Sometimes I can get so busy doing good things that I forget to do what I was supposed to be focusing on.

What about you?

Between work, taking the kids to practice, studying for the next test, trying to keep the lawn looking good, trying to exercise, catching up on laundry, church activities, and parent-teacher meetings, our schedules look less like a family plan and more like a complex algebraic equation.

If I have to be at x by y and then I have to take child 1 to location b, will I have time to go through the drive through or will we all be eating those gummy fruit snacks for dinner for the second time this week?

And we know we need to cut things out, but what? I mean, it’s not like I am running drugs or killing puppies. If I was, it would be a no-brainer to cut those things out. “Hey, honey, if we stop stalking the neighbors, I think we’ll have time for a date night.” Hopefully that’s not the text message you send. I say text because you don’t have time to talk to your spouse. In fact, if it wasn’t for the picture of the two of you on social media, you may forget what they look like.

We’re too busy. I know, you’ve heard it before. But what do you cut out? Our schedules are full of good things. Sports are good. Getting your kids to youth volleyball, dance, and the traveling basketball team is good. Actually showing up to work is good. Folding laundry, that’s’ good. Studying for the exam coming up is good. It’s good. It’s all good.

And I think that’s’ the problem. Let that sink in. The problem is our schedules are full of good things.

And that’s bad.

Confused yet? Do I have your attention? Good. Perfect. Here’s the point: The Enemy of Great is Good.

The enemy of great is good. See, I believe that God has created us for great things that will bring Him glory (see Eph. 2:10). And if you’re a follower of Jesus, God has a task for you to do. And if the devil can’t cause you to walk away from faith, he’ll try to keep you so busy that you’ll be distracted from your faith.

Distraction. It’s a dirty word. It’s perhaps the most commonly committed sin in the North American Church today. In fact, it’s perhaps the root of almost any other sin we struggle with. What’s the first of the 10 Commandments? “You shall have no other gods before Me.”

When we’re distracted, we’re either putting something else ahead of God, or at the very least, we’re regulating God, and His call on our lives, to equal footing with all the other stuff we have going on.

You say: “Ok, Adam, since you seem to have all the answers, what am I supposed to do about it?”  

Well, first of all, you’re not alone. I’m guilty of this too. I get distracted by good things. My schedule is full of good things; things that need done; needs that should be met; obligations that I signed up for. I’m in this too. This post is for me as much as for you, maybe even more so.

But here’s what I am learning: God has some simple steps to stop being so busy and refocus.

Nehemiah was a guy who got things done. And just a quick scan of the Book of Nehemiah gives us 3 steps we can take to reclaim our mission and focus on the great things God wants us to.

1. Realize the Need.

If you don’t see the need to do something different, then you’re not going to change, and the situation is simply going to get worse. In Nehemiah 1, we see how Nehemiah heard about the bad shape Jerusalem was in. The city wall was destroyed, the citizens were discouraged. It was a mockery of God.

We need to realize that there is a problem in our lives. It may be our schedule reveals some deep needs in our lives that we’re trying to meet apart from the redemptive work of Christ, like trying to earn acceptance or praise of others. Or it could be that we just need to realize we’re not making enough time for what really counts. And that’s what leads me to the next step.

2. Reflect on priorities.

The first thing Nehemiah did when he got to Jerusalem was he took a trip around the city to see for himself what was really going on. He checked out the city, inside and out. He did this in secret, not making a show, so he would get an unbiased outlook.

What are you really doing with your time? Have you ever added up the time each week you devote to each task? Have you identified the absolute essentials? We often say “I need to do this or go there…” But that’s not really accurate, is it? Is anyone holding a gun to your head saying you MUST sign the kids up for dance, intro to yoga, softball, and concert band at the same time, in the same week? Did anyone really force to you say yes to helping with the Committee to Appoint More Committees to Do Nothing?

I’m not saying those things are bad. In fact, I think there is a lot of value in those things. What I am saying is that you and I need to reflect on what is most important.

When Nehemiah went around Jerusalem, I’m sure he saw lots of things that needed attention. Streets needed cleaned of debris. Markets needed set up. Wells needed re-dug. Civic institutions needed revamped. But first and foremost, the walls needed built. It was only when Jerusalem was secure could they deal with other important things.

Focus on the priorities before you commit your time to lesser things.

3. Refuse to get distracted.

In Nehemiah 6, some bad dudes named Sanballat and Tobiah were trying to con Nehemiah out of finishing the work on the wall. They didn’t like what was happening. Because when Nehemiah realized the need, reflected on what needed to get done first, and started focusing on the most important things, amazing things happened.

Nehemiah 4:6 tells us that they had completed half of the work in what seemed like record time, because they were focused on it.

So Sandy and Toby didn’t like this. They thought, “Hey, lets get Nehemiah to come to a meeting. He’ll get distracted and then the work will stop.”

Satan and his minions will try to keep you from the most important things. Sure, take another meeting, it’s just one more night away from home. Yeah, sign up for the community group project, it’s just one thing. They need help with coaching Little League? Well, I mean, my kids on the team, so sign me up. Again, good things, but if they take us away from our main goal, they could be distractions.

Nehemiah told his tempters, “Sorry guys, I’m busy doing a GREAT work and I can’t come down and talk. If I stop now, I may not get back.” (Nehemiah 6:3, paraphrased).

It’s so difficult to do this. People will get disappointed. You will feel like you’re letting down your friends. But perhaps they just don’t understand how GREAT the work you’re doing really is.

Next post, I’ll outline some simple ideas to free up time in your schedule.